I often explain to friends that I fully matured at 12. Instead of a long and gradual process, my mind snapped into its current state at once, when I was playing on the concrete slab that was our playground in small town, Illinois.
Such a grandiose claim needs to be substantiated, and to that end, I would like to share the beginning of a story I started to write a few weeks after that playground revelation. The story in its entirely was lost when my home computer crashed in 2002, but I managed to save a printed copy of the first few pages.
The story itself was a complicated tale of three girls who meet in an alternate reality, endeavoring to save the blighted world from two groups of warring people who were each responsible for taking care of their own specific elements. Earth stood alone, while Fire and Water fought bitterly against Air. Our three protagonists are on a journey to find out who they are, how they ended up here, and how to save this world.
As the story progresses, it turns out the three girls are actually one girl, each of them a manifestation of the past, present, and future of one emotionally traumatized person living in our reality. It’s a story of redemption, of faith, of reconciliation, and of maturity. Our heroes save the world by calling down the powers beyond the earth, the power and mystery of the stars, and upon saving the world awake in their proper world with a new perspective and complete unity of self.
So, without further ado, I’d like to present the first few paragraphs of this story, originally penned by yours truly at 12.
I don’t know why on this day I was avoiding people, but while rainy days rarely yield signs of life, in my small town it seemed as though everyone has the same idea as me; take a walk. I knew there were many places I could go to be alone, and welcomed the challenge. Step after step I grew stronger yet strangely frightened, of some hidden fear that was reflecting my emotion in every raindrop, and mocking my existence with every breath of the wind. But in this moment in time, I had the trump card. I had a hope that they couldn’t remove, no matter how hard the winds blew in my face, or how violently the storm raged. I walked on. The thick clouds of thought in my brain billowed, as the ones above me seemed to think better of it and contented themselves to swirling tirelessly in the sky. No matter how far I walked, or how long, those clouds kept coming back to the same thought. I have no purpose. I despise this thought, and normally extinguish it as soon as the fire alights. Although this time, some of the fire escaped my grasp.
“Hi. I am Now Lost. In a world that is both beautiful and forbidding. Made of nothing but the people who worked so hard to create it, and the people who are trying harder to destroy it. Do not welcome me, for the instant you realize who I am, I am gone. Do not turn me away, as I may be your only hope one day. But do not let me go unnoticed, because then you will also be Lost, as I am Now. Of course, you question my being here, but I am not exceptionally fit to tell you. To be honest would be against what my mind is telling me, but you seem to me as the kind of person that doesn’t care whether I am or not, which is good, so I will be as truthful as I can.
I am Celestia. I was once a girl who was searching. Searching for the truth about life, and purpose. But somewhere along the line, the line just disappeared, and I was no longer safe in my little world. I was Lost. That I knew for sure. Now the truth I search for is how this came to be. It’s true that I do not know what became of that place and that girl I used to be, but I know I have definitely changed. As you can see I don’t know much, yet. But I must find out. Now, my friend, you must tell me of your travels and how you came to be in the situation you are in now.” The Now Lost Celestia ended mysteriously.
“I do not really know who I am, to tell you the truth.” Unknown began. “I was walking one day with only bitterness to keep me moving. I felt resentment and hatred with every fiber of my being. I hated everything around me, I hated the smell in the air, the clouds, the grass, and I barely knew why. Oh how I loathed this wretched life, this day, how I hated everything! It was in this instant when I realized I had other feelings also. As small and unwanted as they were, they were still with me. I had some love within me, and that is what kept me alive, I suppose.
This is as much information as I am prepared, or willing to give. I do have a name and although I do not know what it is at the moment, I will find it. I know that much. And if I have to be with you to find out, I guess that is a risk I will have to accept.”
“Ah, thank you for the enlightenment!” Celeste said merrily. “Well, since you have never given me the luxury of a name, I guess I shall have to call you something. How about Raylene? Does that name suit you? Yes, I think it does.” She practically laughed, answering her own question. But she wasn’t through yet and continued; “To me at least, you will be known as Raylene, temporarily of course, until you discover your true name.”
“Thank you. And what am I supposed to call you again?” Temporary Raylene inquired.
“Call me Celestia.” That was the reply. Then, there was no speaking. No acknowledgement that anything or anybody was alive. There was only silence. Cold, naive, almost misbehaved silence, shadowing them as the marveled at their tasks, whatever they came to be.
Photo Credits: Billowing Out by Caribb
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