No one can hold me accountable for my power. I must impose self-regulation or become saturated in the power that I have grown into.
On synesthete.org, there is a test you can take to prove that you have synesthesia, scientifically. For all the marbles. No more can anyone can doubt you, like they often do. It is an empirical test that can quantify if you are making up your “ability” or if you really do have the rare, neurological condition. The test is simple. Pick what kinds of synesthesia you have, and then choose what color is associated with whatever character/attribute appears on the screen. Below is a letter I wrote to the admin of this site, after attempting to take the Synesthesia Battery.
Reminded again of this dichotomy that is me
Agitated again by youth
But you wouldn’t know it by looking at me.
I often explain to friends that I fully matured at 12. Instead of a long and gradual process, my mind snapped into its current state at once, when I was playing on the concrete slab that was our playground in small town, Illinois.
Looking to find a date but can’t seem to entice a potential mate? I’m sure you’ve seen all the ads that promise to make you a dude/chick magnet, to have the object of your desire so wrapped up in you that you have total dominion over them, and the SEX! Oh, how great the sex will be in these fictional worlds of your reproductive dominance. I promise you all these treasures and more, with the same earnestness and sincerity of all those disturbing programs that somehow keep resurfacing year after year after year.
Except, as you’ve probably come to expect from me, I’m going to break it down in a way that seems too simple to be true. But here’s my secret: what I’m about to tell you actually works.
What is attraction? What is this force that powers computers and governs our scientific laws? What is the fundamental understanding necessary to draw things toward yourself and to push things away within the same breath?
While I tend to come down on the side of science vs religion, one thing religion gets right is its ability to narrate abstraction in a way that is deeply and personally meaningful to us as individuals.
So, while I loathe to go into this part of my life, I believe this is a story worth sharing.
I first heard it carried to me on the tree’s whispers. A sigh of exasperation, confusion, disbelief, and joy. My ears perked at the strange sound, and I breathed deeply for another clue of what it could be that had the trees so deeply gossiping.
I recently read an article about crying that brought to light an old point I’d cooked up. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to reframe feminine traits that the patriarchy has vilified. The subtle inculcations of at a male-based society can seem quite benign at first, then dastardly pernicious.
I often wrestle with the more spiritual aspects of reality. It causes me great internal frustration to see my friends and society at large discount spirituality in favor of reductionism.
The whole Internet seems to be obsessed with Pokémon Go. While I am loath to weigh in on this matter myself, I think it’s important to make a few notes of the phenomenon while it’s still happening. I know you’ve all been *anxiously* awaiting my thoughts, so without further ado, here they are.