Reminded again of this dichotomy that is me
Agitated again by youth
But you wouldn’t know it by looking at me.
And for the first time since my future I’m terrified.
I can feel my mortality crushing in.
The weight of my addictions settling in.
I’m not yet ready to wake up every day the same way, as some say
And as I pray I wonder how much of my beliefs are superstitions.
My judgement is all that keeps me from the God I love.
They thrash about inside my mind so far away from the peak on which I sit and survey all I see.
And my tumultuous thrashing, crashing so close the rocks near the shore at the base of the mountain –
It’s worse than drowning because I’m fighting every step of the way.
Nobody says I’m insane but I do.
He doesn’t understand she doesn’t understand you don’t understand all you do is believe.
He doesn’t understand she doesn’t understand you don’t understand well neither do I but I don’t believe.
Originally Penned Spring 2014
Photo Credit: bell by Tommy Wooh
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